Format: 35 overs
Result: Won by 6 wickets
Match Manager:
A.W.Smith
MOTM:
A.J.Troth
“The Islip Miracle” – by Tim Ellis*
*due to a combination of general ignorance and the writer’s quest for comedy gold, all named fielding positions have been created from scratch. I could have googled them but where’s the fun in that???
“It’s like a scene from a William Wordsworth poem!” remarked Dickie Tyler as he pulled into the Village Hall car park in his pristine white Skoda Fabia. Say what you will about them being V-Dubs with a different badge but “Dickie don’t pay no road tax” so ya’ll can jog on!
Anyway, back to Wordsworth…..”yeah, it’s alright innit!” I remarked as we gathered our kit from his ivory coloured steed. It was indeed a simply lovely Sunday afternoon in the Oxfordshire countryside. As I write I find myself listening to Thomas Tallis’ masterpiece “Fantasia on a Theme” , a piece of music that whisks me back to that glorious afternoon on Church Lane, a day when history would be made in the glorious sunshine!
Anyway, I digress. Suffice to say the weather was excellent and our stable of willing cricketers seemed up for the sport of the day. Our William of Orange lookalike captain Bilbo Swaggins took us into the field, scattering us into our various positions. I took off down the slope to deep backward topside like an obedient yet often brainless Golden Retriever, eager to get my hands on the cherry at the earliest opportunity. Will Taylor took his place not far from me, remarking that he was “a touch hungover”. His position of sideways deep extra scoundrel would serve him well, providing lovely shade to keep his demons at bay. Messrs Berry and Ross opened the bowling with pluck and vigour , Berry contributing a couple of Iron Maidens with Ross also keeping the score low.
A breakthrough was still lacking however and it wouldn’t come until “Tils” and Alex “You can’t handle the” Troth were brought into the bowling rotation. First to go was Goodfellow, dispatched LBW by Tils… plum as you like… although I’m sure it would have been had I been able to see it from deep backward topside. A collective feeling of momentum was building amongst the Villagers as Troth came in to start his 3rd over from “the shit end” .
1st ball was entirely forgettable…literally….I can’t remember anything about it. There’s a dot in the scorebook, that’s all you need to know.
2nd ball was when things started to get tasty. Epton found himself caught in no mans land as Swaggins gave him a good and thorough stumping. High-fives were exchanged… high-tens in some cases. 2 wickets in 2 overs would certainly be enough to write home to mother about. But 3 wickets? Yes please sir!
3rd ball… Black fancied teaching this young upstart Troth a lesson by sending his ball packing to the leftist boundary . But alas, he could only nick the ball up in the air into the grateful gloves of Senor Swaggins. Cue much whooping, fiving and tenning. The Villagers smelled blood and this was their opportunity to press home their advantage. It was also a moment where history beckoned… surely Troth couldn’t complete a hattrick, a first in IVCC history?? At the beginning of the day Sky Bet had a Troth hattrick at 500-1 so anyone with a sly sheckle on this would have been laughing all the way to the bank if he could just hold his nerve…
The Villagers are beckoned in from the outfield to surround the new batsman… if there was an opportunity for a short catch, another nick up in the air, we’d be there to snaffle it up like Daylight in a Pork Pie factory!
4th ball… in comes Troth… that unmistakable gait … a hush falling over the field of play… spectators and children in silence, praying to see the unthinkable… here it comes… it bounces… Saghir figures he’ll attempt the shot that did for his team-mate Black… a wild swipe at the ball… ANOTHER NICK!!… IT’S UP IN THE AIR!! DEAR LORD IT’S IN THE AIR! You can hear a pin drop as the ball loops towards Swaggins for what seems like an eternity … JUST F*CKING CATCH IT!!!! It’s in his gloves. He’s caught it. He’s caught it? HE’S CAUGHT IT!!!!! HE’S ONLY RUDDY CAUGHT IT!!! HAT-TRICK!!! HAT-TRICK!!!! HAT-TRICK!!!!!!!!!
Sheer disbelief. There seemed to a few moments of quiet as each Villager tried to process the gravity of what they’d just witnessed. And then… the whooping, cheering, hugging, bum-slapping, high-tens all round!!!!
From then on it seemed like the cricketing gods were in our favour. Troth went on to take his 5th wicket finishing on 5 for 15 off 5 overs, 1 of them a maiden. A truly inspirational performance. Tyler, Law and Ellis also made contributions, showing their bowling metal. The Villagers were imperious in the field with fine catches from Ross and Tyler as Islip were bowled out for 87.
This writer feels like he should give equal effort to describing our batting exploits but given the circumstances it would be pretty pointless. However the partnership of Ross and Smith was something to behold, clearly inspired by the exploits of Troth’s bowling performance. Ross finishing on 50 not out with some fine strokes, smacking boundary after boundary. He was so eager he even mistook his own foot for the ball and tried to cut it away to deep deep down . Swaggins was also magnificent, finishing on 23 not out, his magnificent hair flowing behind as he scampered up the wicket, leading IVCC to their first win of the season. Law and Conway made brief contributions with the bat as well which summed up the day as a marvellous team effort that was headlined by a fabulous individual bowling display.