Match report

Relight My Meier

After a highly enjoyable but difficult fixture on the Saturday, the Villagers were quickly back to business on the Sunday with their first ever fixture against Blenheim Park. With Nocturne at Blenheim Palace in town, and Gary Barlow graciously providing the musical accompaniment to the cricket, IVCC wondered whether Today this could be the Greatest Day of Our Lives.

Skipper Smith won the toss and wanted to bat, Bat for Good. After having cleared the outfield of tourists, Denning and Relight My Meier strolled to the middle with the resplendent Blenheim Palace providing a more than adequate backdrop to the cricket. “What a shithole, imagine having to play here every week” uttered Ellis, which Said It All.

Denning set about his business with uncharacteristic aggression. Unfortunately for Relight My Meier, It Only Takes A Minute in some games, and this was one of those days, bowled without scoring in the second over. With Denning looking Sure, So Sure, at the crease, it was a surprise to see him chip a full bunger to mid-on for 13.

On the ropes (and a very stodgy wicket), all the Villagers could do was Pray. But, in Procter and Winter they had Giants, who rebuilt the innings with stern defence and no shortage of Patience. Having shown so much Promise(s), Winter was bowled trying to hit the bowler into Bladon (but not doing so). However, Procter was looking like a Superstar. With Winter’s departure, Will Humphries came to crease for his Village debut. Could It Be Magic? The Villagers Hope(d) so. Will was quick to use his feet on a tricky surface and he and Procter kept the scoreboard ticking over to great effect. However, in cricket, just when you think it will be your Greatest Day, Everything Changes. And so it did, for Will, holing out to Long On. As one Humphries departed, another, George, arrived for another debut. Much like his brother, George was busy in attack and made a quickfire 17 before missing a straight one.

Having done the hard work for a magnificent 47 (which would have been closer to 70 on any other ground), Procter tried reverse sweeping twice in the over and, in doing so, realised he had not Found Heaven, being bowled just short of his 50. Daylight departed shortly after for a swift 10, including his trademark bunt over cow corner towards The (Duke’s Italian) Garden.

There then ensued a period of cricket that saw the Villagers send out an SOS. Firstly, Leslie, also on debut, was sold down the River by the skipper, run out for 2. Ellis was then another man whose batting Only Takes a Minute, being bowled first ball. This left Taylor and Smith to try to bat the last two overs with only one wicket in hand. Credit to Taylor (whose batting has improved markedly this season) for a determined performance, being run out off the last ball of the innings for 5. With Smith not out on 18, the Villagers made 163 in their 35 overs. Would that be enough? We would not be Sure until we had seen the Progress of the oppo.

After a truly remarkable tea, which included deep fried swan (could have been chicken?) the Villagers took to the field. Berry and Ellis took the new ball, looking to exploit the Shine. These Days, Ellis is a serious bowler and got some early swing, luring the Blenheim Park opener into a false shot which saw Smith Reach Out to snaffle a simple catch.

Daylight from the other end was unlucky to not take a wicket in his first spell and was replaced by George Humphries even though he heard the Eight Letters all bowlers want to hear, “good over”. Humphries started his Village bowling career in the way so many Villagers do, with a beamer. We knew from that point he would fit right in at The Circus that is IVCC. After resetting his radar, the Humph bowled beautifully keeping the Blenheim Park scoring to a minimum.

After the early wicket, Blenheim Park rebuilt well, with their number 3 looking particularly assured. However, having been called through for a quick single by the number 2, he was short of his ground after a sharp throw from Smith and some excellent keeping by Will Humphries. There was clearly no Love Love lost between the two Blenheim Park batsmen, with the number three launching his bat (and a tirade of foul language) across the Duke’s lawn having been given out. Ellis then sent the number 4 packing, being very Happy Now by nipping one back to take the top of off, a ball he would surely Never Forget.

With Ellis bowled out, he was replaced by Leslie who was unlucky to go for some early runs at the hands of the Blenheim Park number 5. However, he exacted the perfect revenge rearranging the number 5’s furniture in his third over. What a Babe.

For Leslie and the Blenheim Park big number 6 it was clear to all that Love Ain’t Here Any More. Leslie bowled a high looping beamer which, instead of being despatched into Barlow’s tour bus, caught the batsman on the cheek. We did wonder if he was going to Cry, but Leslie smoothed things over, sending the batsman A Million Love Songs (and was shortly after hauled out of the attack). However, it wasn't long before the big number 6 did have a Cry, moaning after being given out LBW to a full straight ball which hit him flush on the foot. But the umpire has the last word and the batsman had to depart, showing no Love Love lost in doing so.

With Smith bowling tidily but toiling to no avail at the “Pavilion End”, he was replaced by Daylight. With the first delivery of his new spell he brought to an end the stoic defence of Blenheim Park’s remaining opening batsmen by making the ball Sing and clean bowling him with one that kept a bit (Bar)low.

Things hung in the balance but, Hello, Relight My Meier was set to drastically change the course of the game to ensure that the Villagers and “the win” would Stay Together. Bowling into the breeze, Relight My Meier, Wickets were his only Desire, served up what first appeared to be bowling straight out of Barlow’s catering tent. However, this was bowling one of the oppo’s Kidz had not seen before. Instead of walloping the ball into the VIP area, he only managed to pop a full toss straight up in the air for Denning, who managed to Hold On to the catch. It wouldn’t have surprised Gary if the outgoing batsman would be Up All Night regretting his shot. In the space of three further overs, Relight My Meier had wrapped up with tail, bowling one of his victims and MOTM Procter taking a couple of simple catches. Take That and Party.

So, with the 27 run victory, IVCC once again looked like they could Rule the World.

Bill Smith

Captain, IVCC 24/06/18