Match report

A rather muted changing room awaited the late arriving skipper Smith, with Olly having already gone out and lost another toss. Perhaps we had become unaccustomed to the smell of leather and jockstraps and the musk of sporting prowess that is an IVCC changing room. Perhaps it was first match nerves. Either way, things soon perked up as we took the field with Meier donning the gloves (and borrowed pads), and Daylight taking up the new ball to start the 2023 season with a bang.

Daylight’s first few overs were a touch expensive, however, a sign that he was rusty and perhaps should have gone the extra mile and Uber-ed down to the pre-season nets to blow off some of those cobwebs. His spell was a tale of two halves: 17 runs from his first 3 overs, and just 5 for his next 3 overs. If he can bowl consistently like he did in his last 3 overs then he’ll definitely have more to chauffeur it with a taxi-load of wickets coming his way this season.

New dad Timmy Ellis opened from the Football Ground End and, boy, his first over was something to make young Teddy proud. Not quite a maiden, but then IVCC don’t really deal in maidens anyway. He was looking smooth though, before being pulled from the attack to save for the end of the innings or because he was tired from no sleep. Speaking of no sleep, fresh-off-the-plane came Barbadian Olly, and was his usual metronomic self. Accurate cutters from Olly, and a strange reliance on a County bat from 1992, saw the Islip opener struggle to do anything of note.

The Islip slow start continued when Dickie replaced Daylight from the River End. Indeed, it was Dickie who took the first wicket as opener Henderson holed out to Smith for 34. Dickie bowled nice and straight and was unlucky not to get a second when Black feathered behind to Meier, only for both batsman and umpire to mysteriously not hear the humoungous knick everyone and their grandmother heard. Of course, that batter then went on to score 75. Cricket can be a total bitch sometimes.

But the Villagers toiled on and, despite a number of catches being shelled (ruthlessly named and shamed by the skipper in the group WhatsApp), the fielding performance was generally very decent, remarkably so given it was the first match of the season. George also bowled very tidily (including one angry bouncer from nowhere) and was rewarded with two wickets – both caught; Alexei Troth followed up his impressive showing in pre-season nets with some nice lines, one wicket, and one devastatingly beautiful dead ball effort; the returning Timmy was unlucky to receive some treatment; and the lesser-spotted Tils took the time to remind us of his talent with 3 tidy overs at the end too, despite wearing some filthy black shirt. As the Villagers tired, however, the Islip score accelerated and despite Sam’s motivational soundbites (“Just bowl it”, and the strangely erotic “Close your eyes and feel”), they posted a challenging 212-4 from their 35.

Tim Morton and Sam sauntered to the middle to begin the run chase, and both took their time to play themselves in. On a decent and true track, one Islip bowler in particular managed to bowl with decent pace and extract some extra bounce that often troubled Morton’s thumb which had been broken in similar fashion last year at Middleton Stoney. But Morty is made of good old fashioned brawn and courage and plaid, and he stood steadfast and unflustered. In fact, both batsman looked fairly untroubled as they saw off the opening pair and started to accelerate, with Morton hitting some classy 4s and one huge 6, and Sam absolutely battering one to the mid-off boundary like a rocket.

Tim was the first to fall, however, slapping the ball into some grateful Islip fielder’s mitts somewhere, which brought the skipper out to bat. Smith 2.0 remains slim of waist and long of hair, and it was a joyous sight to see his familiar bum wiggle as he marked his guard. We all know Bill loves him a quick single and the team on the sidelines were taking bets on how long it would take him to run Sam out. Sam was equal to the task however and took every quick single Bill threw at him and survived (although is now complaining of sore knees mate, and so it may have taken its toll in the longer term and threatening his 100% attendance record). Sam brought up his first 50 of the season and duly raised his bat (only after being heckled to do so by Timmy Ellis, mind). Joy soon turned to tears for the unusual Aussie and he was back in the hutch just 49 short of a wonderful century.

Meier nurdled a few singles to try to keep Big-hitting Bill on strike. But with the required run rate at over 9 an over, and with Olly in next, he had no choice but to try to slap it or go home. He chose to slap it to a fielder and go home. Probably the better choice. Olly brought out the infamous ‘Radley Leave’ first ball and tickled a few to keep the ball ticking over, and with IVCC’s two star batters in, those on the sidelines dared to believe that the win was on. Alas it proved too much – especially when Bill was run out from an unlikely direct hit from the deep for an excellent 64 – and Olly and Tils closed the innings a mere 13 runs short of victoire.

Despite the loss, the Villagers can take heart in a close-run game and a decent performance against a team with an unfair lack of middle-aged men in it. We may, or may not, be seeing them again…

Ali, Chairman 03/05/23